I am not proud of myself, right now. My first reaction to your ongoing situation has been a sort-of glee. A thing I have noticed in your apologies is that you follow the example set in scripture, of recognizing that first the apology ought to go to God, and only after that should the apology go to those we have wronged. I have followed your example in this, and made my apologies to God about all this first, before formulating this open letter to you.
When I found out about your destructive decisions, I put a lot of energy into focusing on the differences between us. Though we both follow Jesus, that plays out in our lives very differently. I spent some time thinking about verses in the gospels and Revelation, which boil down to the idea that all the things we do in secret, they will some day be made so very public. I spent some time thinking about how some folks smarter than me talk about Jesus having come to comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comfortable.
I got awfully focused on the ways that you seemed so self-satisfied. I got so focus on that splinter in your eye, I missed the beam in my own. Somehow, I was able to miss a really brutal fact: if Jesus is here to afflict the comfortable, in my judgement and joy of your situation, I had suddenly become the comfortable. Jesus was here to afflict me. What is worse, by the condition of my heart, I had become a sort-of affliction to him.
And this? This will not do. And so I send my apologies: to our creator first, and to those who suffer by my cruelty and by your cruelty second, but not least of all, I send my apologies to you.
Yours in Christ,