I am watching rage and fear and extremism. There are people declaring that this is the beginning of the end. And there are people declaring that this is the gateway into a world that has, up until now, only been a whisper, a promise. I am watching fear at war with hope, and love at war with hate. I am, for the record, seeing this on both sides of the rainbow flags.
As for me, I feel a wee bit like Rodney King. Amidst the riots that unfair treatment brought out, he uttered this plea: it was as pathetic as it was sincere. “Can’t we all just get along?”
I am not a moderate on the issue of marriage equality. But right now, I am not much interested in expressing my opinion, and I am pretty sure that you have thought about the issue quite a bit, too. I don’t think I want to disrespect you, and the reflection you have done on the issue by presuming that a couple hundred words from me is going to sway you on the issue.
I am, instead, in this space of wanting to patiently, peacefully observe things. I am finding some interesting, powerful things in approaching things like a hippie-engineer. Rather than trying to transcend emotions, I am trying to embrace feelings. I am not trying to set myself above stuff by being robotically, spock-like, rational. I am working hard, instead, at entering fully into places and resisting the urge to be swallowed up by these things.
And, so, there are these things that I am noticing.
I am noticing that there is a terrible and dark place a person can be. This terrible and dark place is reached by way of a disconnect. The disconnect is between something we know to be true in our very deepest places and something that is declared to be true by society at large.
A person who “knows” that they are attracted to people of the same gender, but who lives in a world where she can’t declare this attraction, knows this disconnect. A person who “knows” that marriage is meant to be between a man and a women, but who lives in a world where the Supreme Court has declared that marriages can be between a man and a man, or a woman or a woman, knows this disconnect. A person who “knows” there are behavioral connections to baring the ‘xy’ chromosome pair vs. the ‘xx’ chromosome pair and faces somehow who acts in a manner oppposing this, they know this disconnect. A person who hears society tells them that they supposed to act like a ‘man’ but who feels like a women, knows this disconnect.
We have so much in common. Do you feel it? Are you willing to let those who you want to be ‘the other’ into your personal space? Perhaps, as we wrestle with the common ground we share, this feeling of disconnect, we want to say, “Yes, but, they aren’t the same as me.”
We want to do lots of things that aren’t good for us.
There will be time to debate our differences. At some point, that will be a worthwhile thing to do. But we will not accomplish much until we have gathered together and affirmed our samenesses. They are much more important than our differences. The person we fear and hate the most is the person we have the most to learn from. But that’s not going to happen until we listen up and decide that we will, indeed, just all get along.
My thanks to some bizzaro world ne’er do gooding remnants for helping to crystalize these thoughts.