Today, I raised up my hand and sang that Jesus conquered the grave. I was crying while I did it. If you had been there, you would have been tempted to cry, too, because my voice is not good.
Snarkiness aside, I am reeling right now with all this stuff. Permit me this cliche, will you? This whirlwind rages around me but I am in the eye of the storm. It is scary, and sad, and frankly miserable. But there is peace here, there is calm.
It is Mother’s Day, as I write these words. This is the first Mother’s Day I have had since my mom died. Last week would have been her birthday. Next week will be the anniversary of her death.
Fellowship Church, the community where I found Jesus, is ending.
A pair of my dearest friends, so integral to my faith and my life over this last decade, are leaving.
I know that I will see my mom again.
And Fellowship? It is becoming a campus of Next Level Church. Representatives from our new affiliation were on hand today. They seem good people. And they have something pretty amazing going on. It seems that they are doing what we, at Fellowship, have longed to do.
And this lovely, amazing couple, they are following God’s call on their lives. I am so proud of them.
And there is more:
I continue to work on reconciliation and restoration of one of the most important relationships in my life. And it is good.
And we had been car-less for nearly a year. We had relied some on public transportation, some on ingenuity, and lots on selfless kindness from amazing people. It was not easy, and it was often not fun. And it is over. Partially through the kindness of awesome people, we have a vehicle. We were mobile this week end. It was a joy to go grocery shopping with my wife.
After shopping we had this lovely meal. We laughed together and nostalgi-cized. (I don’t care that that word has the red underline telling me it is not a real word. Don’t be so narrow-minded, spell check.)
I raised up my hands and I sang out this morning, and yes, it probably sounded terrible. But I was just moved, struck, pierced by this idea that Jesus conquered the grave.
At it’s most basic, this means that we have a victory over our physical death. But there is so much more!
There is this victory over my mother’s death, as there will be a victory over my own some day.
But also there is a necessary death of this community I love. And there is victory over this death, too, as it becomes something new.
There is the death of the convenience of seeing my great friends all the time. But the victory over this death is that these great friends are doing what God built them to do.
These deaths were the winds whirling all around me. They were real, they were scary.
But there is more than that fear.