There are some things in my life that I feel powerless about. I feel like I don’t deserve them. I wrestle with them, and it poisons me in so many different ways.
Somehow, today, I just got whalloped upside the head with a realization. My attitude is all that I have. It’s somewhere between a plattitude and a cliche… Call it a plattiche.
And yet… it is both of these things because it is so true. We are powerless to impact so much of the outside world. But we only give up on our internal space when choose to.
I would have said that I was just doing my best to get by, if you’d asked me. And in a certain way this was true. Yet, I also handed so much of my autonomy over to these circumstances by failing to own and control what I can control.
What I can control is my reactions. Sometimes I would hide behind the idea that nearly anybody else might react the same in my shoes. And yet… this is so irrelevant. It doesn’t even matter if it’s true. Because even if it is, even if most other people would act the same way… So what?
There’s a strange connection to Jesus’ way of wielding power by giving it up. When we own the fact that all we really can impact is our attitude, we actually consolidate our own strength; we affirm some of the control that we would lose when we waste our energy sulking and playing the would-have-been, should have been game.