In order to make a point, I have to whine a little bit. I hope you’ll bare with me.
Things are tough. It’s not the kind-of tough that one specific area of my life is brutal. It’s the kind-of tough where virtually all aspects of my life are quite hard, and all these different challenges conspire together.
More specifically: I’ve taken on this new job that is emotionally taxing. It’s leading to all this self-doubt. We have also moved. Every day after work I have been spending hours moving boxes, cleaning up the old apartment, etc. I am physically exhausted. Church life has been erratic for a bunch of reasons, I’m feeling desperate for spiritual recharging. I’ve been fighting this really nasty respitory/allergy thing…
But tonight, I had this really great moment of just turning it over to Jesus. This time of wordless prayer. I got to thinking about the promise that the spiritually impovershed inheriting the kingdom of heaven, the meek inheriting the earth, the sorrow-filled being comforted. About how we’re called to be spiritually child-like.
I had this glimpse.
When we’re self-satisfied and delude ourselves into thinking we can do it, the best we can do is hope that our destiny is like some super-charged, steroided-out version of the reality we create for ourselves. When we think we’ve got it all down, we imagine heaven is just like the super-sized version of the life we’ve already got.
But when the world seems out of control, when we come to terms with the liberating and wonderful truth that we can’t do it… Then we see that our future hope is something so much bigger and greater than whatever we might do on our own.
And that… that’s a pretty cool thing.