Dear Future Me:
I wanted to right you a quick little note. Sometimes, I/you can be so forgetful. Sometimes, I/you can be so short-sighted.
The last couple days have been peaceful ones. God has been around… Not in a huge, Moses-Burning bush kind-of way. It’s been a little less dramatic then that. But the last couple days are a good reminder, that dramatic isn’t always good.
Over these calm days, I’ve done nothing that counts as exciting. Gotten a bit caught up with housework. Read scripture, and some other books. Spent quality time with my lovely wife and the youngest. (The other 2 are at their grandmother’s.)
So, my future self, there will be a time when things are just crappy, stressful, and overwhelming. At this point it will feel like life has always been crappy, stressful, and overwhelming. Whatever the stress of the moment is, it will fill up my world.
I’m trying to lay some groundwork to prevent this from happening. I’m trying to help myself deal with this future issue, right now, my future self. One of the things I’m noticing is that I have this tendency. When things are good I don’t think about God because I want to take credit for all the good things, and because, in truth, I don’t particularly feel like I need God when things are going well.
The result is that when things are bad, it’s not instinctive to lean on him. Though God doesn’t deal in regret and shame, when things are bad, if I’m a fair weathered friend to God, if he had no active roll in my life when things were going well, then I feel a hypocrite on top of whatever the stress is.
So I’m spending time with God, as things have been pretty peaceful over these last couple days… And you know what, my future self?
Being in God’s presence is a pretty cool thing, when I’m not in the middle of a crisis. As you know, there was this time that our life was crisis-filled. And every time we needed our earthly parents they were there for us. But it got old. I/we missed just hanging out with them, when we could just enjoy each other’s company rather than have to work out a bunch of problems.
So, my future self, as much as I hope that in bad times, you can work on keeping a perspective on things, I hope that during the good times, you’ll continue to spend time with God.