It seems like all the cool blogging kids are talking about “Stuff White People Like” and its parody, “Stuff Christians Like.” As uncharaceteristic as it is for me to do this, I have to agree with the going opinion: both these blogs are very funny, very clever pieces of work.
As I was considering these blogs, two things occured to me. These are profound realizations that came to me in the way of dream-like epiphanies.
Realization #1: I’m a white person!
Realization #2: I’m a Christian!
Because I’m a geeky teacher, one of those Venn Diagram things popped in my head. If you’ve gone to school in the last 20 years, you probably remember Venn Diagrams. The theory is that you create two slightly overlapping circles. Each circle represents a specific idea. Things that are true of both ideas you put in the middle, overlapping portions of the circle. Things that are only true of one or the other you put in the outer portion of the circle. (The reality, just for the record, is that they end up all sloppy and messed up)
At any rate, realization #1 and realization #2 above lead me to the conclusion that I could in fact put myself in that central place in the Venn Diagram formed by those two blogs. There are people in the world who are kind-of lucky. These are white people who aren’t Christians, or Christians who aren’t white people. The reason that these people are only kind-of lucky is that they only have one blog telling them what they are supposed to like.
I’m extra lucky. I get two.
My initial reaction was to find this prospect daunting. Each of those blogs lists literally hundreds of things. I have a tendency to be rather cynical. I’m actually not sure if there are hundreds of things that I do like.
But then it occured to me: maybe if something appears on only one website it’s optional. But if something were too appear on both, why then, it’s unaimous, I have to like it!!! My fellow inhabitants of the center, fish-shaped portion of the Venn Diagram, these are the things I’m supposed to like!
This realization brings about relief on 2 seperate fronts. First, I’m relieved that I’d don’t have to like 8,000 things. Secondly, I’m saved from actually having to do the work of figuring out what I like as a white guy and a Christian. Somebody else has done the work for me!
With these realizations in mind, I set a supercomputer to the task of exhaustive data analysis. Actually, that’s a total lie. All I really did was scroll through both blogs and try to keep as many as I could in my brain.
The results I turned up:
uhm, none, actually.
Maybe some of you can help me. Is there anything I’m supposed to like, as somebody who is both white and Christian? In the end, I guess those blogs weren’t that helpful as objects for me to arrange my life around.
But they are quite funny. And I suppose all this explains why there’s not so many things I like.