What the Bible has in common with my wife

My relationship with scripture is a little bit like my relationship with my wife.

Sometimes– most times– I love being with her.  She makes me laugh and smile.  She fufills and completes me.  She challenges me and supports me.  She is my best friend… you get the picture.  During these times, there are many things which come easy.  It is easy to communicate fairly and easily.  It is easily to want to go out of my way to be kind and respectful.  It is easy to go the extra mile… Again, you get the picture.

Other times?  Well other times we can drive each other crazy.  Perhaps I’m just in a selfish or antisocial mood.  Maybe I’ve done something knuckleheadish.  Maybe she has. 

At these times, it’s much harder to do all those things: to say “I love you”; to ask her how her day was, to go out of my way to submit to her needs, wants, or desires.

And these are the times it’s most important, these are the times that I really need to be doing these things.

When I do, things usually resume to how I like them, how they should be.  When I force myself to do the right thing, to say the right thing, to be a good person, even when it’s hard, it usually pays off.  We get back to that mode where it becomes easy again, where it becomes rewarding again.

When I don’t?  When I don’t things get increasingly bad.  Often times she’s busy doing the right thing even when she doesn’t want to, and this brings me back to a better place. 

(A side note: I am convinced that the secret to a healthy marriage isn’t any deep and profound principle.  It’s simply that only one person gets to act like an idiot at a time.  A couple who can manage to work out some sort of alternation, some way of working out who gets to act like an idiot at a given time, this couple is well on their way to maritial bliss.)

At any rate, I began all this with the statement: sometimes my relationship to scripture is like my relationship with my wife.

Just like there are times that it is easy to be a good husband, there are times that is easy to continually be in God’s word.  Sometimes, the reason that it is easy to be a good husband, and a good scripture reader is because I’m in a good space.  Other times, the reason that it is easy to be a good husband and a good scripture reader is because my wife is in a good space/the bible is so interesting, informative, and useful.

I feel almost cheesy saying it.  But sometimes scripture is like honey.  It is such an awesome joy to read God’s word… sometimes.  Don Miller helped me with this a little bit.  In Blue Like Jazz he quotes a friend who talks about smoking cigerrettes and eating chocolate while reading scripture.  It’s so freeing to realize that we can just get a glass of wine or an iced coffee and sit in a comfee chair and just read what God has to say to us.  It can be tempting to think we have to get all dressed up and seek out the most uncomfortable chair in the house.  But the reality is that scripture can be funny, or revolutionary, and relevant, and fun.  As long as we give ourselves permission to have fun, to see the relevance, to join the revolution.  (I suppose it’s not just about giving ourselves permission.  It’s also about the Holy Spirit at work in us.)

When I see scripture this way, it’s this self-mantaining thing, this delightfully vicious circle.  My interest mantains itself.  Just like the  stuff in mantaining a relationship with my wife: it isn’t work, sometimes, even though it’s necessary and important.

But there are these other times.  When it’s hard, that’s the time it’s the most important that I keep going.  This is the time that it’s easist to get further and further away from my wife, or from scripture.  Sometimes it’s because of the space I’m in.  Other times it’s because of what I’m reading in scripture or where my wife is emotionally at.

(Another side note: The next series of sermons at the church I attend will be entitled “The Worst Story Ever Told”: It’ll be a grappling with one of the most confounding and despicable stories in all of scripture.  It’ll be interesting to consider how that relates to my thoughts here.  Click this link for Pastor Marty’s blog.  Or click here for the church’s web site if you’re interested in more on this topic.)

I had originally set out to blog about how I’ve been having this really great time with scripture lately.  But what I’d intended as a sort-of introduction has blossomed into a full-blown post.  So I guess I’ll leave that thought here.  Maybe I’ll check back in and write a bit about what I’ve been finding in scripture these last couple weeks tomorrow or the next day.